Coaches offer life advice

Football teams have coaches. Debaters have coaches. But I never knew regular people had coaches. That is why the ad in the paper caught my eye.

"Create the life you really want," it said. "Overcome self-limiting beliefs and achieve your potential." This ad also told me that with the assistance of a life coach I might find balance, simplicity and joy.

That all sounded pretty good so I called the number and Coach Sue agreed to meet with me.

I must admit, I am a born skeptic and didn't know what to expect. I somehow had this idea that I would encounter new-age psychobabble, crystals, talk of pyramid power and maybe an astrology reading.

I was way off. Clueless, in fact.

There was no incense burning, no mention of rainbows as far as I could determine. Just a nice lady in a comfortable office. She was a good listener, and when she talked she made sense.

"Sometimes we don't trust ourselves," Sue told me. "We live in fear of being judged because we judge ourselves. What I do with my clients is help them start trusting themselves. I give them a list of their values, their ingredients. My job is to hold up a metaphorical mirror for my clients and if their lives are not what they want them to be, I try to help them get there."

I asked Coach Sue what the difference was between what she does and what psychologists do.

"There are some clients who are not ready for a coach because they need therapy, and I encourage them to make this determination by seeking therapeutic help," she said. "Sometimes people go into therapy as a way to help them through very human issues like divorce or the death of a spouse. We don't delve into the psychological realm; we help our clients figure out what's next in their lives."

A life coach may be too expensive for some people. It's $400 a month for two hours divided into several sessions, either in person or on the phone. The life coach-client relationship may last a few weeks or it may last more than 18 months. Sometimes she "fires" clients who refuse to be accountable for their actions.

When you sign on with Coach Sue, she asks you to focus on "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz: 1) Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don't take anything personally, 3) Don't make assumptions and 4) Always do your best.

As I listened to Sue my thoughts drifted to some of the musical geniuses of the past. No, not Bach or Chopin; I was referring here to The Spice Girls, who so poignantly emoted, "I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want." I asked my life-coach-for-a-day what people really want out of life.

"They want more of something or less of something," she said. "Less stress, more time, connection or fun. I use a 'Wheel of Life,' which is divided into nine segments. This helps me see the scope of my client's whole life. I can then score how satisfied he/she is in each area and find out where the imbalances are."

Sue recognizes that we start our belief system when we are very young by learning what those teaching us believe.

"When parents teach a child that something has to be done a certain way, that child may create a belief that this is the truth," she said. "People often get stuck because they continue to operate under the truth of someone else. We align ourselves with people who hold us to our agenda, and often it's to our own detriment. I try to help my clients see, and eventually change, beliefs that no longer serve their best life."

Well, it wasn't Yanni CDs and crystals, but it was pretty interesting.

There is an organization called the International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.org/ICF) and Sue is a Professional Certified Coach.