Sex, love and relationships

Love and relationships are mysterious forces that people deal with or live for on a daily basis at home, at college, at work and in public.

Co-founder of Twodaymag, Natalie Bencivenga, believes in the togetherness of people and the power of love, which empowers her to pursue the online magazine based on the concept of relationships.

Twodaymag is an online magazine with articles for make-ups, break-ups, heterosexuality and homosexuality, couples and singles. The Web site is divided into three sections: "Live," "Love" and "Play." Bencivenga also keeps a blog to provide fresh material for people to read everyday.

Bencivenga hopes to put together a forum on the Web site to spark conversations for couples and singles. With Valentine's Day approaching, Bencivenga had a few things to say about love, relationships and sexuality.

"People think about all different things regarding relationships, such as how you're supposed to act during sex or making dinner for your lover," Bencivenga said.

"I think that humans are very complex, very social creatures," she said. "When you look at biology, love is not only an emotional or psychological need. Every person is universally connected. There is a universal energy that runs through people. People often neglect it and become cynical. The more you run away from love, the more you have an incessant need for it. People get into relationships because they have a dire need for it."

"We need to stop isolating ourselves from love and learn to be intimate," Bencivenga said. Discussing a generation that has grown up in broken homes, Bencivenga said, "The average family consists of a single parent. In rough relationships, you become an island. As adults, we've become bodies bumping into each other in the night. We're not connecting, we're becoming miserable."

The biggest mistake when entering a relationship is not knowing what you need or who you are.

"People expect their significant other to fill all those gaps in their psyche or soul, they're expecting someone to complete them," Bencivenga said.

You can't be completed by a significant other; you have to learn to complete yourself. Once you figure out what makes you happy, angry or sad you can go out and find someone who will complement your emotions.

People trying to have long-term relationships often have an inferiority complex and believe they need to be better and do more. This problem comes from expectations generated in the media, namely television, movies, magazines and the lives of celebrities.

"First you need to know what your needs are then you are free to find who you can get them from," Bencivenga said. "The media shows us images of chronic beauty and sexuality. These images show no responsibility afterward. Nobody gets pregnant, nobody gets hurt and nobody gets sexually transmitted diseases. People tend to think that if they go out and find someone to have sex with, they'll be able to have a relationship."

In a culture influenced by media programming and advertisements, people seem to have forgotten how to date and try to generate intimacy out of sex.

"We've become very cynical and jaded about the most important thing in the world," Bencivenga said. "We've forgotten how to date. Before sex, you have to form a bond, a connection. When we have sex with people, we are connecting with them on a primordial level; we are making something out of nothing."

"When you go out with someone, have a few dates without having sex to see if you can feel that energy. It's good to sit on that emotion," Bencivenga said. "Ask yourself, ‘Is this someone who makes [me] laugh? If we can have a good time together, if we can view our future together, maybe we can go in the same direction.'"

With the rise of reality TV, the government was known for promotional campaigns about abstinence to prevent and avoid underage pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. When it comes to the way people view love, there is no wonder why the divorce rate has never been higher.

"Between TV and the government, there is a dual reality," Bencivenga said. "How do we balance this dual mind? It's a paradox. Now, as adults, we're bumping into these walls. We're all in sexual relationships and we're all miserable. Nobody was taught how to love themselves, which is a basic need that everyone has. We're becoming isolated from one another. Media infiltration is leading to the demise of our emotional and physical state."

There is a tendency to seek relationships in fear of being alone. In college particularly, students seek love and sex to fill voids developing from deep within.

"College isn't the time to have that boyfriend or girlfriend you're going to have for the rest of your life," Bencivenga said. "College is a time to explore yourself, explore your sexuality."

Bad relationships are a growing trend. If you find that you're in a failing or painful relationship, take time to step away, reflect, pick up a hobby and make sure you feel fulfilled with yourself before trying to commit to a serious relationship.

"We're starved for happiness," Bencivenga said. "People stay in bad relationships because they're unhappy with themselves. They feel desperate and helpless. They're afraid of being alone. There's a big difference in the word ‘lonely' and the world ‘alone.' You can be alone and be happy, but you can't be lonely and be happy at the same time."

Due to a growing homosexual culture, straight men often feel the need to defend their masculinity in fear of appearing gay.

"Men want to be loved and want to love just as much as women do," Bencivenga said. "Men are afraid to express that emotion in fear that they won't be seen as masculine. You have a duality in your spirit; everyone has masculine and feminine energy. Nurture both halves of your humanness."

With the way the world is growing to depend on politics, religion, media and intercontinental communication, the one factor that seems to promise security and salvation is the ability to love.