2008 Woodie Awards
Learning how to drive v. waiting 'til you're married
Dan Hollinger
Issue date: 9/27/07 Section: Forum
There is this thing called driving. It comes with inherit risks. You may die. You might get injured. You might be affected for the rest of your life based ofnyour driving habits. Since we want to protect you, we will only tell you that you should never drive a car. Never. The only allowable circumstance would be if you have a committed relationship with the car and promise only to drive on a private track for the rest of your life. Until that time comes, the thought of driving a car must never cross your mind.
Sure, a car is fun. You can go fast. You can go places you've never been. It can be an important part of a healthy life. It can be a basic necessity to your day. But, since there are risks, you must ignore all of that and focus on finding an unused race course and remaining abstinent till then.
Driving is a special experience. It shouldn't be shared all willy-nilly with any car that you find attractive. Most people know this. You should not be trading cars every few months just because you get bored or the handling is better. Severe promiscuity is an extreme. Only a handful of people treat their cars with such disrespect. Abstinence is also an extreme. Only a handful of people treat their life with such disrespect.
I love metaphors. Let's continue, shall we?
Some people will tell you about safety belts. These are not 100 percent. They will not save your life in case of an accident. They may reduce some risks, but you shouldn't trust them at all. Oh, and don't listen when those impure drivers tell you about airbags, anti-lock brakes and reinforced side-panels.
When it comes to driving, states agree that anyone under 16 is probably too immature to handle the responsibilities and risks of driving. There is a set age limit. They don't forbid all people from driving, despite the fact that people of all ages get into accidents. They do require a license, though. How do you obtain this license? You learn what the risks are and how to drive safely.
Sure, a car is fun. You can go fast. You can go places you've never been. It can be an important part of a healthy life. It can be a basic necessity to your day. But, since there are risks, you must ignore all of that and focus on finding an unused race course and remaining abstinent till then.
Driving is a special experience. It shouldn't be shared all willy-nilly with any car that you find attractive. Most people know this. You should not be trading cars every few months just because you get bored or the handling is better. Severe promiscuity is an extreme. Only a handful of people treat their cars with such disrespect. Abstinence is also an extreme. Only a handful of people treat their life with such disrespect.
I love metaphors. Let's continue, shall we?
Some people will tell you about safety belts. These are not 100 percent. They will not save your life in case of an accident. They may reduce some risks, but you shouldn't trust them at all. Oh, and don't listen when those impure drivers tell you about airbags, anti-lock brakes and reinforced side-panels.
When it comes to driving, states agree that anyone under 16 is probably too immature to handle the responsibilities and risks of driving. There is a set age limit. They don't forbid all people from driving, despite the fact that people of all ages get into accidents. They do require a license, though. How do you obtain this license? You learn what the risks are and how to drive safely.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Denise Woods
posted 9/28/07 @ 11:08 PM EST
I loved this article! Great metaphor. I completely agree with what you are saying and would try to teach my child, if I were to have one, the choices they have and the risks and benefits to each. (Continued…)
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